Introducing Lydia (Me)

Hi!

I’m Lydia. I’m fat. I hate using that word: it’s gross and mean and ugly. But, I wanted to get your attention. Plus, it’s true. I’m fat. And I don’t mean “I’m fat,” in the insecure sorority sister way, I mean I have to shop in the extended sizes section. One time I had to get a seatbelt extender on an airplane (if you want to face humiliation, experience this).

I’ve struggled with weight pretty much my whole life, like since I figured out which cupboard held the Gerber’s cookies as a toddler. I’ve had ups and downs in the weight department, possibly corresponding with how stressful my life is (but not always). When I’m in a healthy phase, I generally enjoy it. I like the clarity of mind and the sense of accomplishment. Plus, when none of my joints hurt I think working out is fun. But on the other hand I also really enjoy beer and pizza.

In the last two years, things have sort of spiralled, and at the turn of the New Year I was the heaviest I have ever been. I almost didn’t recognize myself in recent photos. So it’s time for a change. What better time than the end of the world to finally get my act together? I assume the slowest runners die first in the Apocalypse, and I am always getting winded early.

I don’t want to portray myself like a lot of other weight loss stories do, though. My body is not a cage. I’m not trapped in a shell of belly weight. I’m out-going, active and I like myself. A lot. But sometimes I wish I had more energy. And there are things that I simply can’t do because of my size and lack of physical fitness. Things like climbing a mountain and buying jeans at True Religion. So my goals are to get physically fit enough to be able to do anything I would like to do, including climbing mountains, wearing designer jeans and surviving any potential Apocalypses.

So this is a blog about how all that’s going.

Full Disclosure: This is approximately my fourth attempt at trying to start this blog (or something similar). But this time I’m telling other people so if I give up on it I’ll get a little nudge of self-shame to keep me going. It won’t be easy, but hopefully it will be educational for you, and successful for me!

I’ll mostly be writing about what techniques I’m using, what works and what doesn’t, and what kind of progress I’m making (there will be progress!) I’ll probably post photos of food a fair amount. I may or may not complain about how much I miss cheese.

Lastly, here is a picture of me for reference:

– lj